Thursday, August 21, 2008

Other Winners In The [Jets QB #4] Trade

As you know, here at Fundamentally UnSound—when not ranking cartoon songs—I look to delve deeper into the stories to uncover the topics that go undiscussed in the mainstream media. And with [Jets QB #4]'s debut against the Redskins last weekend, I will share a few entities that are big winners from his trade to New York. I don't mean the Jets, [QB #4], or even Aaron Rodgers, because those are obvious. I will outline a few that people may know have been affected by [Jets QB #4]'s move to The Meadowlands.

Jeff Garcia

During the courting period for [Jets QB #4]'s services, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers were one of the teams on the short list; although you wouldn't know it if you listen to the GM. Well, that definitely sit well with quarterback incumbent Jeff Garcia. He knew that if [Jets QB #4] joined the team, he would likely be replaced as the starter and probably released from Tampa Bay. While he probably would be picked up by a team in dire need of a veteran passer, Garcia doesn't have the time left in his career to be on a team in the process of rebuilding. The Bucs are probably his last shot to be on a Super Bowl contender, and he realized [Jets QB #4] would have messed that up for him. Who knew he was so vocal? I mean, by golly.

Eli Manning and The New York Giants

Peyton's little brother took a big step forward in his progression last year. Somewhere between his shoulder shrugs and sippy cup sips, he learned how to play quarterback. Part of the Giants' Super Bowl run last is attributed to the fact that there was no pressure on them to win. Outside of, maybe, the Tampa Bay game, they were the underdogs. Well, three road wins—and the greatest-broken-play-turned-catch ever later—Eli has a ring like Peyton, and a new douchebag fan in Eugene "Mercury" Morris. The reason why he benefits from [Jets QB #4] joining him in New Jersey York is because Eli doesn't seem to thrive under pressure. With [Jets QB #4] drawing mass attention from the media, Eli and Co. can fly under that proverbial radar again.

Adrian Peterson

He has no direct ties to the [Jets QB #4] trade, except for the reason that he is Purple Jesus; and he benefits from all things. By default, he and his disciples are the best team in the NFC North; and this allows for Tavaris Jackson to further grow into the leader of the Vikings without having to worry about a serious division race. Just turn around and hand the ball to #28, my son.


Once [Jets QB #4] became a part of the AFC, CBS immediately saw dollar signs. I'm placing the over/under on Jets' telecasts at eight, including the regular season opener against Miami, and both games versus the Patriots. I probably won't be able to see each of these games because I'm within the realm of the Ravens' market. This means I get to see Troy Smith's progression. Time to ghostride the farm in celebration! Somehow, I believe that there will be constant in-game cuts to Jets games in progress at every chance CBS gets. So now, the network with the eye has the three biggest-named quarterbacks in the conference with which they have television rights; and can juggle their coverage how they see fit. Pats-Colts? Check. Pats-Jets twice? Uber-check. Strangely, Jets-49ers won't be shown; which is probably for the best.

It was tough finding some good to come out of all this [Jets QB #4] coverage, but a good number of people have benefited from him stepping out of his Wranglers and back into pads. We'll just see how much he, "loves to play the game," when D'Brickishaw Ferguson misses a block and [Jets QB #4] gets obliterated on his blind side. Please, Purple Jesus, make it so.


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