Friday, August 8, 2008

Better Know An NBA Franchise: New York Knicks

I was saving my...*sigh*...favorite NBA team for last, but I don't know if I'll get through all 30 teams, and they're on the short list of franchises I want all of you to know better. Since this is Anti-[Packers Jets QB #4] Week, I figured I'd channel my utter disdain for the Wranglers spokesman into something that actually matters to me, even though I'm not quite over that Destiney thing: The New York Knickerbockers. Oh look, there's [Jets QB #4] throwing passes in a t-shirt and cargo shorts! Drool...drool. I think Aaron Rodgers should be on the "Eff Grandad" remix with the Lethal Interjection Crew.

Anyway, the Knicks, by divine intervention, are still an important part of my sports being. My loyalty for them began when I reached the to of SEGA Genesis' NBA Jam plateau (for the record, I'm still undefeated in that game). That was going on fourteen years ago, and the Knicks are still my favorite team through all their well-documented blunders. I've already written letters to/about them, and even threatened to file for fan divorce. This will be as objective and impartial as possible. Meaning, it won't be objective and it will be partial...
Players: Where do I begin oh this roster? Least Valuable Player Stephon Marbury has a lesser grip on his life than his sneakers have on the floor. Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry appear to be rigorously training to surpass Joey Chestnut. Nate "Mr. July" Robinson's biggest accomplishment is having his Summer League jersey retired...and then taken down by maintenance two hours later. Apparently, Quentin Richardson still hasn't gotten over Brandy. Add an Italian kid (Happy Birthday!) that got the draft hookup because he knows the coach, and has absolutely no idea what's in store for him, and this team fails Chemistry class with flying blue-and-orange colors. The only player I respect is Jamal Crawford. Hopefully, young players like Wilson Chandler and Mardy Collins will see more playing time; just because it can't get much worse than it already is with them on the floor.

Coaching/Front Office: This brings me to those in charge of fixing this Broadway mess. The Knicks are such bad shape that David Stern couldn't even fix the Draft Lottery for them again, like he did for Chicago this year and Seattle/Oklahoma City in '07, but don't tell anybody. Isiah Thomas has literally been paid to stay away from the team, and the new tandem of GM Donnie Walsh and Head Coach Mike D'Antoni look to get this franchise back to relevance. D'Antoni wants to run; but Eddy and Zach want to eat. We'll see how much patience he has with them this season. Also, we'll see how long it takes for Steph to be traded; but given his ability/salary, no one wants him.

Projection: With D'Antoni as coach, defense will definitely be non-existent; even moreso than it was in recent years. One would like to believe that they'll be better on offense, but that requires cohesiveness; and we know that they're definitely lacking in that department. Part of me wants to believe that not having Isiah nearby means instant improvement, but I just don't see it happening. The turnaround will be in process; but I don't know how far ahead of schedule Donnie Walsh's plan will be. Hopefully, they'll be in good enough shape to be able to make a play for Lebron in 2010, barring he doesn't go overseas.

Bonus: There aren't any good and interesting tidbits of information to share with you about the Knicks. Everyone knows Eddy likes cheeseburgers, while Zach is more of a steakums man. So I'll leave you with this link to a Stephon Marbury interview that substantiates my notion that he's completely lost his mind. I and the six remaining Knicks fans (Spike Lee and Woody Allen included) need to hold monthly meetings to help keep each other sane throughout this upcoming season...


1 comment:

Kenny Flat said...

Knicks stands for knickers.