Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Things I Care About More Than [Packers QB #4]

Yes, I have decided to name this week, "Anti-[Packers QB #4] Week." There won't be any semi-intelligent posts regarding his situation; and how he's more selfish than Chad Johnson and Terrell Owens combined (maybe next week). Considering the trivial things regarding him that have become breaking news, I've compiled a list of similarly trivial things—questions and statements I mull over in my mind—that are vital to my everyday survival...

    Where can I get a square watermelon? I mean...they're square!

    OMG! They kicked Destiney off VH1's "I Love Money" O...M...G! Brandi C. so should have been gone.

    Who taught Steve Nash how to dance? He obviously didn't learn those moves in British Columbia.

    Would people still like Plies' music if they knew how he came up with his rap name?

    Why did Josh Childress have to look for a big payday overseas but Kwame brown still gets by on "potential?" He should definitely be bagging my groceries...paper and plastic, please.

    Where is Laura from "Family Matters?" I hope her life didn't become as traumatic as Judy's...

    What exercises do race car drivers have to do to keep their "athleticism" in tact? Calf raises? Vigorous sets of wrist rotations?

    Are you still thinking about Roger Clemens? Didn't think so...
Those were just some of the things that matter to me a lot more than constant sack riding of one [Packers QB #4]. But seriously, why'd they do that to Destiney? WHYYYYYY?!?!?!


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