One For My Pickup Game Heads

I gotta talk to my people that actively get on the court for a minute. Okay, you're in a game (pickup or organized) and you score. It could have been a nice one-dribble pull-up from 17 or a catch-and-shoot 3 from the corner. Then, you score again. Now, you've hit two in a row and the confidence begins to swell. So your team has possession again and you just know you're getting the rock for a heat check. You've just dropped consecutive buckets and everyone noticed. Here's where things go bad. You're expecting the pass—hands ready, feet square, shooting shoulder locked—and your teammate just hoists what could possibly be the worst shot since Dr. Naismith first put up peach baskets. You watch in confusion as the ball forcefully clangs off the rim, and you're left wondering, "What if," as you scramble (if you scramble) back on transition defense. If you can testify to this, then you were got by a player I like to call, "Run-Stoppers."

*Obama voice* Now, let's be clear. If Player A hits two in a row and his teammate hits an open three or cuts for a nice layup, Player A is not the victim of a run-stopper. Run-stoppers, as part of their fundamental truth, will always take a terrible shot. Said terrible shot will lead to a long rebound, which leads to a score for the opposition. I've been the victim of this plenty of times, and there is no way to avoid them. Also, do not confuse the run-stopper with the "jock," "heist-box," "black hole," or whatever your area's term is for someone that shoots too much. Run-stoppers do not necessarily have to want to shoot all the time. However, they see your consecutive scores as a green light for them to get their shine on. And I must stress that the shot they take while you're waiting for the extra pass is always terrible; and usually after a move that isn't in their repertoire. It's usually after mindless dribble to nowhere and an under-direst hoist towards the basket. The funny part is that everyone observant knows it's a bad shot, and the gym goes silent for about 48 seconds as everyone but the run-stopper has the, "What the hell?" thought bubble pop into their minds. And get this, the run-stopper will not—I repeat, not—say, "My bad," or pat his chest as any form of repentance. He will just jog back down the court behind the play like it's all good. It's borderline disrespect. It's as if he says, "Well, your buckets are okay, but they're inferior to my horrendously awful shot selection." In fact, run-stoppers are habitual line-steppers; continuously crossing the understood boundary of feeding the hot hand for their own selfish wishes. The run-stoppers aren't just found at your local "Y" or shaded blacktop. They have infiltrated the professional ranks. They do not include any of the superstars because superstars, by definition, can shoot whenever they want. After the random picture, I will name a few so you will be on the lookout for them this upcoming season.

Linas Kleiza. I've seen Kleiza play since he went to high school here in the DC area (shout-out to my boy Andrew who dunked on him); and since he was a D-1 talent, he had the proverbial green light. Well, must feel he's still at Montrose Christian because as soon as he's in the game, it becomes all about him. Everyone knows that JR Smith is the flame off the bench. Everyone, except Kleiza, that is. JR could be on the verge of one of his patented scoring streaks, and Linas will gladly hoist up a contested triple. Granted, he can shoot, but he is not good enough to take liberties like that. I don't care if George Karl is the coach or not.

Zach Randolph. Zeebo is really talented. He has impeccable post footwork and is really great at playing angles. But don't let anyone else like, say, Nate Robinson start to catch some fire. Z will gladly take the ball at 15 feet, and proceed to ignore his teammates for however long it takes him to shoot. Maybe that's why he's on his fourth team despite being a proven 20-10 guy. Or maybe it's stuff like this. Eh, take your pick.

DeShawn Stevenson. Picking on DeShawn is easy. He was on the embarrassing end of Lebron's Crabhammer, and has been associated with Soulja Boy. That isn't exactly a winning combination. Combine that with this false bravado that he can actually score, and he is the main reason the Wizards aren't that good (yeah, I said it). Stevenson frequently takes long-range shots like he's a marksman from distance. They always seem to come right when Caron or Antawn are about to get going. Even Nick Young's touches are worth more than Stevenson's. Hopefully, Flip sees the light and buries him next to Mike James (another run-stopper) on the bench.

Sasha Vujacic. First off, no one can have a self-given nickname. That's wack and proves you're not worth much on the court. Second, if you're "The Machine," shouldn't you be more than just a backup shooter that only plays when he shoots well? Shouldn't you be shooting well if you're a machine? Does that mean you're malfunctioning? Anyway, Vujacic will kill any Laker 8-0 run with his quick trigger. Part of it is that's all he can do with some sort of regularity; and part of it is that Lamar Odom—who usually runs the second team—is too unselfish to say anything. Take it back to NY on him...or at least get Ron-Ron to do it next year. I know he will.

That concludes my list of NBA run-stoppers. As usual, if you feel I'm wrong or have some players I've missed, leave it in the comments.



Peace.

Re:Sending The Memos

Taking a quick break from my yin/yang series, and I need to address a minor grievance with Basketball. Before I do, know of that old adage about someone who doesn't, "get the memo?" Well, I'm going to resend those memos that certain people in Basketball apparently haven't received the first time. For example, Tracy McGrady sent out a message to all his haters out there. I didn't know said haters existed, with him still being among the top all-star vote-getters; but I guess haters exist. Anyway, Tyrus Thomas must be one of them. The memos are after the pic...

To: The Rest of The Association

Cc: Help Defenders

Subj: Rajon Rondo's Ball Fake

Look, Rajon Rondo is as quick as they come, and he uses that deception to continuously get into the lane and get out in transition. However, that fake behind-the-back is not unstoppable. When he first used it, I could see its effectiveness given his offensive limitations; but he's done it so much that NBA players should have caught on by now. The only move I've seen that can't be stopped is the Sam Young pump fake aka, "The Grizzle Fake." Rondo's move shouldn't be bought anymore. NBA, you've been warned...again.

To: Lebron Detractors

Cc: Wizards Fans

Subj: The "Crab Dribble"/Wiz-Cavs "Rivalry"

Fans in the Phone Booth had a good time in seeing some semblance of justice served to The King. And after Lebron's explanation of the move, Wizards supporters were getting more than their seven laughs in over it. Well, while Lebron did blatantly travel, the crab dribble is a defined basketball technique. So yes, Lebron did execute the crab dribble, but he took four steps after it.

This brings me to the so-called rivalry between the Wizards and the Cavaliers. Just because a team gets fake tough for a series, and still gets dumptrucked by one man, doesn't make this a rivalry. How many series have the Wizards won against Cleveland? Right. In fact, in the three series, the total numbers of wins is in Lebron's favor 12 to 4. DeShawn Stevenson seems to be the one headlining the Wizards' smack talk. Lebron is the best player in the world, and Deshawn Stevenson is the worst off-guard in the Association. It's about time they freed Nick Young (end brief rant). Wizards fans, worry about whether or not you get Blake Griffin next year and not Lebron's footwork.

To: Rest of NBA

Cc: Defenders In The Paint

Subj: Fouling Lebron James

Readers may have initially thought that this would be a memo regarding allowing Lebron to draw fouls on minimal contact like Jordan once did. Something to the effect of, "touching him in the air being a foul," as I once heard during a pickup game. But this is quite the contrary. While we're on the subject of Lebron, it's no secret that he's a large human being. Since he is such, he brings a lot of momentum with him when going to the rim. So why is it that defenders continue to attempt to simply make slight contact with him, particularly while he's in the air? Anything that isn't borderline flagrant will not cease Lebron's ascenstion to the basket. This particular memo must get lost in the spam folder, because it still happens six years into Lebron's career. And if you're smaller and haven't blocked a layup since middle school, just get out of the way, or this will happen to you. I'm sure the coach will understand.

To: All Guards In Transition Defense

Cc: Steve Nash

Subj: Taking Charges Under The Basket

I'm not a firm believer in taking charges under the basket during an opponent's fast break. The refs never call it, and it almost always ends up in a basket and the foul. But more importantly, the result is usually something thunderous...and the foul. Duke's Greg Paulus found out the hard way yesterday. If you think it's reserved for players with college experience, then you're wrong. Manu Ginobili once didn't heed the warning. But the main culprit of this basketball unwritten warning is Canada's own Steve Nash. He is The Maestro, and has gotten a bunch of players unwarranted big-time paydays (I'm looking at you, Q); but he is not a stalwart on defense. He keeps getting dunked on trying to set up for the charge. And you would think someone with as high a basketball IQ as Nash's would learn to avoid such situations. But alas, no dice. Nash has harnessed court vision, but he just can't seem to see dunkers preparing to take off over him. Oh well, more entertainment for me.

Hopefully, the recipients of these memorandums will pay attention to them and learn from their previous mistakes. I don't want to have to do this again.

Peace.

In Search of Yang...or Yin: Part 2

After reading this on my boy Mike Benjamin's, "Points Off Turnovers," (Side note: Seriously, Mike, I want in on this...man) I am compelled to probe deeper into my basketball yin/yang theory. I will avoid the obvious pairings and unearth various inverse/converse relationships within the important tiers of the Basketball Realm. After the picture, The Flash Green Lantern...


Being: Dwyane Wade

Yin or Yang?: Yin...too much yin.

Possible Yangs: Monta Ellis, J.R. Smith, Leandro Barbosa, Gerald Wallace

Actual Yang: Gilbert Arenas

I struggled mightily between either placing Wallace or Arenas as Wade's compliment, but I decided to go with The Hibachi; mainly because Wallace's star isn't as bright as Arenas' (and he falls a lot). Using Mr. Benjamin's form/function theorem, both Arenas and Wade use the other's element as a secondary-but-vital piece to the way he approaches Basketball. Wade, geometrically symmetrical with the backboard as his colleague, has flawless footwork when lining up his jumper. However, in his Iverson-like relentlessness to the rim, he employs whichever involutary bodily movement that is needed to score. Even in that mix, he demonstrates the fundamentals of the layup: off the glass.

Arenas, the exemplar of impulsive and whim, straddles the lines of consciousness—almost perilously. Yet, he is a tireless worker in the gym, as if he wants to elaborate on his impulsiveness through the rigors of structure. As Bethlehem Shoals said, "[Arenas] has atomized the game..." Though he sees the Realm of Basketball as a place to do whatever he feels, he is respectful of it, and a sage with quirkiness as his mystical arts. Both Wade and Arenas are masters of their craft, and need each other's basic ingredient to make their respective games whole.

Being: Brandon Roy

Yin or Yang?: A whole lotta Yin

Possible Yangs: Rudy Fernandez, Rudy Gay, Ben Gordon

Actual Yang: Nick Young

Brandon Roy will have his name among the Association heavens real soon. His game is stoic and disciplined. A microcosm of this is that as a right-handed player, he loves going to his left offensively. With silent confidence, he assassinates opposing wing players, and can still get the rest of his teammates involved down the stretch. Roy has underrated athleticism, and doesn't feel the need to display it unless it's necessary.

Nick Young may not ever reach the potential his game has set out for him to attain. Scoring comes naturally, and the Wizards have finally let him loose to put the ball in the basket. Plainly put, he gets buckets. As far as personalities go, Roy is mostly soft-spoken. He's not boring, but Young is definitely more of the extrovert. His nickname is, "Hollywood," and well, he does stuff like this for fun. Roy is certainly a better player than Young, but if Nick is allowed to ascend to his rightful plane, then their compatibility will come to fruition.

This is shaping up to be a long series, with more than just yin/yang relationships between players. Your move, Money Mike.


Peace.