Thursday, February 5, 2009

Re:Sending The Memos

Taking a quick break from my yin/yang series, and I need to address a minor grievance with Basketball. Before I do, know of that old adage about someone who doesn't, "get the memo?" Well, I'm going to resend those memos that certain people in Basketball apparently haven't received the first time. For example, Tracy McGrady sent out a message to all his haters out there. I didn't know said haters existed, with him still being among the top all-star vote-getters; but I guess haters exist. Anyway, Tyrus Thomas must be one of them. The memos are after the pic...

To: The Rest of The Association

Cc: Help Defenders

Subj: Rajon Rondo's Ball Fake

Look, Rajon Rondo is as quick as they come, and he uses that deception to continuously get into the lane and get out in transition. However, that fake behind-the-back is not unstoppable. When he first used it, I could see its effectiveness given his offensive limitations; but he's done it so much that NBA players should have caught on by now. The only move I've seen that can't be stopped is the Sam Young pump fake aka, "The Grizzle Fake." Rondo's move shouldn't be bought anymore. NBA, you've been warned...again.

To: Lebron Detractors

Cc: Wizards Fans

Subj: The "Crab Dribble"/Wiz-Cavs "Rivalry"

Fans in the Phone Booth had a good time in seeing some semblance of justice served to The King. And after Lebron's explanation of the move, Wizards supporters were getting more than their seven laughs in over it. Well, while Lebron did blatantly travel, the crab dribble is a defined basketball technique. So yes, Lebron did execute the crab dribble, but he took four steps after it.

This brings me to the so-called rivalry between the Wizards and the Cavaliers. Just because a team gets fake tough for a series, and still gets dumptrucked by one man, doesn't make this a rivalry. How many series have the Wizards won against Cleveland? Right. In fact, in the three series, the total numbers of wins is in Lebron's favor 12 to 4. DeShawn Stevenson seems to be the one headlining the Wizards' smack talk. Lebron is the best player in the world, and Deshawn Stevenson is the worst off-guard in the Association. It's about time they freed Nick Young (end brief rant). Wizards fans, worry about whether or not you get Blake Griffin next year and not Lebron's footwork.

To: Rest of NBA

Cc: Defenders In The Paint

Subj: Fouling Lebron James

Readers may have initially thought that this would be a memo regarding allowing Lebron to draw fouls on minimal contact like Jordan once did. Something to the effect of, "touching him in the air being a foul," as I once heard during a pickup game. But this is quite the contrary. While we're on the subject of Lebron, it's no secret that he's a large human being. Since he is such, he brings a lot of momentum with him when going to the rim. So why is it that defenders continue to attempt to simply make slight contact with him, particularly while he's in the air? Anything that isn't borderline flagrant will not cease Lebron's ascenstion to the basket. This particular memo must get lost in the spam folder, because it still happens six years into Lebron's career. And if you're smaller and haven't blocked a layup since middle school, just get out of the way, or this will happen to you. I'm sure the coach will understand.

To: All Guards In Transition Defense

Cc: Steve Nash

Subj: Taking Charges Under The Basket

I'm not a firm believer in taking charges under the basket during an opponent's fast break. The refs never call it, and it almost always ends up in a basket and the foul. But more importantly, the result is usually something thunderous...and the foul. Duke's Greg Paulus found out the hard way yesterday. If you think it's reserved for players with college experience, then you're wrong. Manu Ginobili once didn't heed the warning. But the main culprit of this basketball unwritten warning is Canada's own Steve Nash. He is The Maestro, and has gotten a bunch of players unwarranted big-time paydays (I'm looking at you, Q); but he is not a stalwart on defense. He keeps getting dunked on trying to set up for the charge. And you would think someone with as high a basketball IQ as Nash's would learn to avoid such situations. But alas, no dice. Nash has harnessed court vision, but he just can't seem to see dunkers preparing to take off over him. Oh well, more entertainment for me.

Hopefully, the recipients of these memorandums will pay attention to them and learn from their previous mistakes. I don't want to have to do this again.


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