Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Letter 71724-H: Mark Cuban

Dear Mr. Cuban,

I've been waiting for you to do something to qualify yourself for letter status. Your "superstar" player has qualified with his Gary Coleman-sized performance in last year's playoffs; and even for a similar effort in the 2006 Finals against the Heat. But now, you've done enough to fill up the special meter and I'm about unleash the Super Move of a letter about you and your team's recent events (yes, I'm a nerd; so what?). Brace yourself...


Let me start by saying you've done a great job bringing this franchise from the beneath the NBA cellar it dwelled in for the previous decade. The memories of Roy Tarpley are gone, and clamoring for the "Three J's" are no more. You've even managed to be so respected that Diddy himself has designed your team's alternate uniforms. I don't even mind your courtside antics and constant beefing with officials because I know, behind the scenes, you work towards them being better at their craft; even though you appear to just be whining.


In fact, I don't have a problem with how you run your team, except for the recent trade you made for Jason Kidd. The problem isn't with making the move for Kidd--he's an all-star point guard and a better player than Devin Harris (or so you feel). I maintain that you are a worse team now; but this blog isn't reserved for basketball analysis, so I don't have to explain myself. The problem I have with you was created in August 2006; when you signed Devean George to a two-year, $4.2 million contract. Again, the problem isn't the contract--George is a veteran swingman that plays pretty good defense and is a decent enough shooter to stay on the floor (two sentences of basketball analysis is enough). The problem lies in the no-trade clause he was allowed to negotiate; like he's a star player. He's Devean George, 1998 & 1999 NCAA Division III Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference Most Valuable Player; and fifth option for the three Phil-Shaq-Kobe Lakers championships. He must negotiate as well as Matt Millen, otherwise there's no way he should have that kind of vetoing power. Now, because of his apparent omnipotence, Mark; you had to drag semi-retired bust Keith Van Horn from his home in Utah and pay him $4.3 million to make the deal work. Oh, and George is still on your team; feeling, actually, like a star player.

Click for Ray J's cover to his new mixtape...NO JOKE (probably NSFW)

If you want to ship away your future floor general for a chance to win now, by all means, go ahead. Unfortunately for you, you're still not anywhere near the best team in the West. If you were on the other coast, then you'd instantly be a title contender. This wouldn't even make you among the best even if Phoenix and the Lakers hadn't made their own blockbuster trades, (or, in L.A.'s case, theft). You've certainly added validity to my previous idea that the Western Conference has acquired the "trade override" setting that has yet to make it over to the East; but your team hasn't even done anything to strike fear in those, "We Believe," Golden State Warriors--much less the elite teams. Tim Duncan (almost) laughs at how desperate you look. Gregg Popovich will smirk as you're ushered out of the first round; quite possibly by his Spurs.



Congratulations, Mr. Cuban. Congrats on making the Western Conference that much more interesting. Congrats on now becoming the 6th best team in the West; and adding more teams to the list of those that keep you from crying while being presented with the real trophy, instead of at Dirk's "MVP" presentation. A piece of advice: The sooner you and Avery Johnson realize Josh Howard is the best player on your team, the closer you will be to that title. The sooner Dirk shows that he can play with a heart bigger than the Grinch's was--or else be willing to play second fiddle to J-Ho (and Jason Terry in the fourth quarter), the better the Mavs will become. You can't purposely misspell Dwyane Wade's name because he actually has a ring; and single-handedly became both Superman and The Flash and dismantled your Mavs in the Finals. You and Dirk griping about the officials is lame. How about next time your team actually plays like the better team, instead of changing its starting lineup to adjust to a .500 team.

Let's hope Kidd is that final piece you've coveted for the last five years as San Antonio and their team completeness have surpassed you in every year except one; and Timmy had to be hurt for most of the season, plus Manu had to give an unnecessary foul for you to be in position to win the series--and it still took seven games. I wish you and your team good luck on the rest of the season, because you are going to need it.



Sincerely,

Sun


P.S. Nice moves.

4 comments:

questionmark said...

DG was clearly the move of the future. Mark Cuban reminds me of Jay-Z with his charisma, and then keen ability to make idiotic front office moves.

bballgmr said...

I honestly dont understand what cuban was thinking. Maybe he got scared over what the lakers and suns are doing and did it out of desperation. J.kidd is prob 3-4 years away from retiring so he basically gave up the pg of their future for nothing. I certainly dont see them winning the ship within 3-4 years, but hey, ya never know.

Anonymous said...

Although Kobe Bryant is the only player in the league with a specific no-trade clause in his contract, league rules dictate that players on a one-year contract -- but who also ended last season with the same team and are thus eligible for Early Bird or full Larry Bird free-agent rights at the end of the contract -- cannot be traded without their consent. George, who earns $2.4 million this season, is one of 18 such players in the league at present, afforded the right to either approve or veto trades because those Bird rights are lost if they do get traded.

-ESPN.com

PS, George didnt negotiate that in his contract, it's just a league rule.

TheTillShow said...

Thanks for the info; but I could've sworn he signed a two-year deal. I had heard about the Bird clause but I was just speaking as if George was on a two-year deal.