Real Recognize Real: Money Mike's Knicks' Season Preview

The NBA tips off very soon; and I figured it was time to request help to write the season preview of my beloved Knicks. I enlisted my good friend and fellow superpower, "Money" Mike Benjamin to give a New Yorker's respective on the team that calls MSG home. Peep his thoughts after the random picture...

Fearless Forecaster: Knicks’ Preview 2009

When I close my eyes and think about the 2009 New York Knicks, my mind instantaneously flashes forward to the summer of 2010. You can’t blame me for this. It’s natural. For 95% of the Knick fan base, the key to our basketball ascendance rests squarely in the palms of one Joseph Donald Walsh Jr. and the (fading?) mythos of the World’s Most Famous Arena. Our legitimacy in the eyes of the basketball conglomerate depends on this. We’ve been brainwashed to think and speak in the future perfect tense.

So, why should YOU care about the New York Knicks of 2009? Why even bother to research the disparaging backgrounds of these symbiotic placeholders (Larry Hughes, Darko Milicic)? Should we even care to cheer these athletic mercenaries employed to coerce the distant superstar?

Yes, we should. We must motivate the Jared and Eddy, the two players impeding our efforts to scoop two megalomaniacs in the great tussle in 2010. We must embrace the youth movement, the only pieces of our disjointed puzzle alluring to the potential free agents of the next decade. I just don’t see Lebron riding straightway to N.Y. on his steed if our Knicks team remains pathetic, no matter how legendary the setting. (Unless we witness a swipe akin to the great steal of Wayne Gretsky by the Los Angeles Kings, which would indelibly lead to jeers of “Collusion!”)

Cheering for this impotent franchise doesn’t have to be a boring exercise, however. Within the first four weeks, a symphony of Knicks fans will be singing the praises of the lyrically notable Toney Douglas. Douglas, with his explosiveness and inventiveness similar to the reckless abandon of Nate Robinson, will sadly become the cheaper alternative to our Slam Dunk King when the free agent fracas ensues. David will shift from underrated, to overrated, to properly rated by season’s end, and probably receive a ransom not unlike a certain burgeoning forward (LaMarcus Aldridge) directly following our successful signing of Lebron, Wade, or some other member of the future NBA generation. And if the overrated Knicks management (yes, I said it…he hasn’t done jack since hiring Mike DiAntoni) can flip one of our uglier pieces of furniture for a state-of-the-art masterpiece (a first-round 2010 draft pick), we’ll be cheering simultaneously for John Wall AND the aforementioned 2010 piece de jour.

I’m penciling 60-22 as our record with my heart, but 33-49 with my brain. An astoundingly unimpressive amount of wins for an insignificant cast of characters. We’ll have much to cheer about, that’s for sure. Even if most of it is surrounding the events that will take place on July 1, 2010.

246 days, 14 hours, 57 minutes…and counting.

Mike Benjamin, II

NBA Team Structure-Chaos Spectrum: An FU Graph

If you're new to FU, then allow me to explain the basis of how I see Basketball. I stand by the creed that Basketball is the only team sport in which a player fuses the game with his personality and soul. No two players can play exactly alike. Kobe can study all the Jordan film he wants, he'll will still shoot his fadeaway in his own Mamba way. Whether noticed or unnoticed, a player's "game" is defined by the kind of person he or she is. Richard Hamilton will never use screens the same way Reggie Miller does. Blake and Taylor Griffin are brothers; and even they have totally different inner methodologies that could never be copied. The shooting form in my banner pic is mine and mine alone. I'm not referring to how productive a player is on the court; so the last guy on the Nuggets isn't a worse person than Carmelo Anthony because he isn't as good as 'Melo. I'm theorizing that how a person sees Basketball is a reflection of their personality.

An addendum to my FU creed is that a Basketball fan's like/dislike of certain teams is also a reflection of how a person is. All 30 teams fall somewhere between "conventional" and "unconventional." This is along the parallel of my yin/yang series, as well as "Money" Mike Benjamin's "Form/Function" series over at Points Off Turnovers. Characteristics such as offensive tempo, play-calling, rosters, and the blurring of traditional positions are included in a team's mixture. And I, to the best of my ability, graphed them. Western Conference teams are on the left, and the East is on the Right. Peep the result and an explanation at the end of this sentence.
The first thing I think readers will notice about the graph is that the Lakers and Celtics are in the middle of Chaos and Structure. This doesn't mean they are "perfect" teams; but rather that they've achieved the most exact blend of those two ideals. The graph is also Conference exclusive. Eastern and Western Conference teams aren't necessarily compared to each other. For example, the Pacers are more conventional than the Bucks; but they're not necessarily as conventional as the Rockets with Yao. A third idea is that I'm not associating better teams with being closer to the center of the graph. As you can see, there are contenders scattered along the spectrum.

This is a graph about the teams as a whole. Each of them has at least one player opposite of its place in the spectrum. And your like/dislike of a player has no bearing on how you feel about a team. So you may like watching Deron Williams; but that doesn't mean you enjoy watching the Jazz. And allegiance to one's favorite team does not apply to this graph because that bias will distort your view. It's understood that some players—particularly the Elite ones—exponentially add interest to their respective teams through fans' appreciation of their work. I'm a huge fan of Chris Paul, yet I cannot stand watching the Hornets. In this graph, an individual player does not correlate to the overall enjoyment of watching the entire team.

The Rockets and the Sixers were given two spots on the graphs because they had drastic alterations to their team's chemical makeup. Both teams became more successful when they were forced to abandon structure and become more chaotic to survive. Thaddeus Young became the hybrid SF/PF that Philly needs to get out and run; and the Rockets just played on pure guts and let Aaron Brooks be Atom Ant. It was a bit of Adelman's smoke and mirrors, but Houston somehow won 2 games without Yao against the future NBA champs. As for the Sixers, that first-round series with the Magic was a lot closer because they had to be fast break-oriented. Andre Miller, now playing in the Rose City, was the reason the transition from structure to chaos was seamless. Elton Brand must adapt himself to the fast-paced Sixers and not the other way around. It makes them much more dangerous.

Where our individual personalities factor in on this graph is that it will point out the many facets we have as people. I'm infatuated with the pure ruthlessness of the anarchic Warriors as well as the Spurs mechanization through the Big Fundamental. Portland's young near-completeness and Oklahoma City's developing Revolution are both microcosms of my personality. That's the beauty of Basketball. Just when you think you've figured out everything about your self, you discover something new about who you are as both a person and a hoops fan. Find yourself through this art. I have and am continuing to do so with each passing season.



Peace.

Back on the Warpath

I finally understand how hard it is to write about hoops in the off-season. And I give ultimate respect to FreeDarko and the other basketball blogs out there that kept the quality of their content in mid-season form. Searching for a quality topic that was up to FU standards, I probably threw good ideas away in hopes of sparking great ones. However, I am back from hibernation with to bring you loyal readers that Basketball philosophy that goes beyond the superficial. This season should be a fun one, and I thank all those that come along for the ride. And yes, there still will be random pictures.

The reason I couldn't post anything in the past few weeks is because I didn't have much that really excited me during the off-season. Then it hit me. I'm gonna share the storylines and situations for the 2009-10 season that do spark interest. Everyone can talk about Boston, LAL, San Antonio, and Cleveland. That's easy; I'll worry about them in April. Teams like those, barring injury and "Banderas Complex", are proven commodities with only stats and records to fill in. Even the potential 'Sheed outburst is a given. There will also be teams that disappoint and teams that surprise. With that said, this season has me more amped than any other before.

The Coming. I've been trying to tell anyone (literally) about Anthony Randolph, the second-year forward out of LSU. I think I'm interested in his development more than I am with Steph Curry's. AR is a legit 7 feet with the aggressiveness that Lamar Odom can't harness. Not as polished, yet; but no one is as skilled as Odom at that height. The speed in how Randolph matures may determine how willing the Warriors are to trade Stephen Jackson. If Monta sees the light and recognizes just how much space playing with Steph will give him, the Warriors may just be more impossible to defend than they were in the "We Believe" era. The Key is Randolph; for he is the one true mismatch on the team. I sure hope Don The Mad Scientist has one more concoction he can experiment with; because that's too much talent to not be on the same page.

The Corollary. Some athletes want to assimilate into the professional world and "blend in;" and some march to the beat of their own drum. Well Brandon Jennings must have his own live band because he's definitely different, and I respect it. His decision to forego college for overseas has made him polarizing in the Basketball community; stirring up the same divisive feelings that AI being the Christopher Columbus of hip-hop in the Association did in '96. "The Corollary" may not catch on as a nickname for Jennings, but his Iverson-like persona makes him the answer to The Answer. It's as if he's cosigning, but with his own response. Of course, in order for him to be taken seriously, he has to pan out and be a good player on the court. Eccentrics like AI, Arenas, and Rodman were able to be so because they're productive and vital components to their respective teams. Yes, that goes for Gilbert, too. Jennings' style is what made him the highly touted prospect that he is, and if he sticks to that, he should do good things for Milwaukee even though the Knicks should have drafted him.

Legend of the Fall-Offs. Like clockwork, when an athlete's ability to play at a high level goes, it goes. Even MJ, the G.O.A.T., couldn't escape Father Time and could no longer call forth his magic at his whim. Regardless of how great a player is, at some point, he will lose a considerable amount of that greatness. Every star player with at least a dozen seasons under his belt is battling Father Time tooth and nail. This applies to Kobe, Ray Allen, Tim Duncan, Steve Nash, KG, with AI, Jason Kidd, and Rasheed Wallace already beginning to lose the fight. I'm not rooting for any of them to drastically decline; but it'll be interesting to see which ones stay consistent and which ones look "old." Timmy has the best chance because he never relied on explosive athleticism to be effective. Kobe and Ray will be relying a little more heavily on those outside shots. I am slightly concerned with the Maestro, though. This is the seventh year of him in SSOL Mode, and I'm not sure his back can take another 82 games of that without a viable backup. Phoenix may have to rely on more Amar'e post isolation offensive sets just to keep Nash upright. Every Suns teammate, except maybe Grant Hill and Barbosa, depends on Steve Nash to put them in positions to score. That's a lot of mental strain combined with the physical strain of playing uptempo for 82 games. I don't know how much longer Nash can be on the front lines of the Revolution.

R versus R. My last pre-FU post was a comparison between Chris Paul and Deron Williams. A couple years later, and another young PG juxtaposition in the other Conference interests me more than that one did. Boston and Chicago played the best first-round series ever. Spawning from that is a 1-guard rivalry for the next decade. Rajon Rondo and Derrick Rose are both unorthodox and free-flowing. Neither follows the John Stockton model of being a point guard. Rondo is the injection of youth that fuels the veteran Celtics, and Rose is the one Baby Bull with transcendent talent. Each of them has sparked change in different ways and should have very entertaining bouts in the East for coming years...with inclusions of Devin Harris.

This is the first time I've missed Basketball this much, and after hibernating, FU will be better for it. We're back with more of that Basketball truth rarely talked about in the mainstream. Thanks for your support, and I won't let you down. To steal from the WNBA: Expect Great.

Peace.

FU Self Face/Off: The Iverson Saga

Since I'm in my yin/yang, both sides of the spectrum mode, I'm going to write yet another post on my favorite player: Allen Iverson. I know FU seems to be flooded with AI posts and mentions; but since I've become indulged in the Basketball Realm as its scribe, his career has had more dramatic change than ever. Gone are the days of carrying franchises on his diminutive shoulders, slicing mountains and monuments with the sharpness of his crossover dribble. He's a journeyman now; trying to disprove the perceived notion that he's fallen from the ranks of the Elite.

Whenever an idea for a post starts formulating, it usually sparks two different types of reactions and opinions in me. Now each opinion in unedited and honest, but one is a little more controversy-based than the other. It's like "T.I. vs. T.I.P.," minus the southern accent and military arsenal. With that said, I'm going to share both opinions that arose once I heard that AI signed with the Grizzlies. The semi-politically correct one is after the random picture...

Welp, it's happened. The Little Shooting Guard That Could, the undersized perimeter player with an unbreakable will, the Braided Bringer of Buckets—Allen Iverson—has finally lost that proverbial step. Since his release from the Motor City, he has had the Clippers semi-interested in his services and had to practically beg the Grizzlies for a chance—and even they took a couple months to think about it before signing him. Even Larry Brown, the one coach able to fully utilize AI powers, wouldn't bring Iverson aboard because he didn't want to disturb the chemistry of his Bobcats team; despite said team in desperate of big-time scoring. Something has to be wrong with Iverson if bottom-feeders like the Bucks, Knicks, and Kings wouldn't give him a look. And yes, the claims of him being a bad teammate are starting to become legit. At first, he was all gun-ho about coming off the bench in Detroit so Rodney Stuckey's development wouldn't be stunted. Twenty games into Joe Dumars' experiment, and it was obvious Iverson's isolation-based game doesn't mesh with all the screens Rip runs around. It became more clear once Iverson went out with the back injury the first time, and Rip flourished without him.

The Pistons went from six straight Eastern Conference Finals to getting swept out the first round by the CrabHammer of Lebron. Chauncey Billups, who AI was traded for, grasped the attention of the often knuckle-headed Nuggets and led them to the Western Conference Finals. Billups proved he was behind Detroit's success, and established himself as one of the game's best leaders. And well, no one's associated Iverson with leadership.

This is what it has come to for Iverson. His lowest points per game total ever (18.5); and players like Paul Millsap, Ramon Session, and Hedo Turkoglu being more coveted than him. This is the beginning of the end.



And now...the other way I felt...

So the only team that wanted AI is the Grizzlies? Really? Those 50-loss teams couldn't use a prime scorer who is two years removed from averaging 33 points a game. That's thirty-three...for an entire season. Yes, Iverson is incapable of averaging 30 a game. Yes, it seems the countless reckless treks to the rim are now taking their toll on his frail frame. But there still aren't fifteen guards better than Iverson in the Association right now. He didn't fit in Detroit, and he still averaged 18+ ppg and 5+ apg. Do you know how many point guards did that last season? Four (Billups, Paul, D. Williams, and Harris). So don't act like Iverson can't play at an extremely high level in this League.

You want to know why I really think AI wasn't signed for awhile? Collusion. Not just from the owners, but from an order by Commissioner Stern himself. How else would the active leader in points per game be a free agent until September? Did I mention he's two years from averaging 33 points a game for a season? And you mean to tell me the Kings feel Beno Urich is a better option? Even if he has to come off the bench, what team couldn't use an unstoppable scoring threat with their second unit? Last I checked, New Orleans, Oklahoma City, Charlotte, Phoenix, Milwaukee, Miami, and a few other teams don't have a hint of a scoring threat off the bench. Yet Iverson has to settle for Memphis, while Earl Watson is still employed.

No punches pulled, I think David Stern blames Iverson for the infusion of hip-hop into his precious League. Shorts became longer, fundamentals began to lack, and individualism became more outwardly expressed once The Answer was drafted. If you've been paying attention, Stern has slowly been trying to eliminate the individual style that today's pro hooper is displaying. I always point out that Basketball forces one to intertwine the game with his soul in order to prosper at it. It's why no matter how many times you watch "Better Basketball," you won't shoot the same way as J.J. Redick or dribble like Mike Bibby. One's "game" is as exclusive as his fingerprints. Yet it seems Commisioner stern doesn't want any of his players to express themselves. Eliminating the Band-Wade, the leg tights, and event he dress code to some extent are all ways to promote uniformity. This isn't football. Fans see the faces of the players all the time; so if a player wants to rock a colored band-aid under his eye then let him. Stern is trying to do away with that quietly. Why do you really think Lebron's shoes are ugly?

Anyway, glad to see Iverson was able to continue his career and not be totally frozen out the Association. I've given you guys a little insight into my thought process whenever a story like this occurs. As you can see, while I still don't give you the everyday, mundane, watered-down hoops analysis; I still hold back a little bit. Maybe I should stop that and just cut loose for real. I guess I will do that from now on. FU has just increased the pressure.



Peace.

In Search of Yang...or Yin: Part 8 - The Gift and The Curse

rIt's a time for elation and celebration. The back cover has closed on the book of the greatest player in the history of Basketball: Michael Jeffrey Jordan. We all know the legacy. We know about the game-winners, the fadeaways, the retirements—and so on. But by now, you should know that my FU way of doing things will make this more than just an essaying of listing all of MJ's accomplishments. Jordan brought more than just amazing sneakers and dunks. He did a lot for the professional athlete, both good and bad. In fact, MJ's career both enhanced basketball and hampered it at the same time. Since Jay-Z always makes MJ references, I decided to flip it and call MJ's career "The Gift and The Curse." All things good will be presented after the random picture.

The Gift
Everything Jordan starts with his partnership with Nike. MJ showed future pro athletes how to turn a name into an establishment. Think of how many other star athletes are under "Brand Jordan." Not even Tiger Woords has any other golfers of significance (if any at all) rocking the TW fitted. Jordan took the foundation of Basketball and applied it to his sales pitch. Combined with whoever those geniuses are at the Swoosh, and His Airness has pushed billions of attire with the Jumpman logo on it. "Sometimes I dream..." indeed.

Because of that marketing, and the growing popularity of the NBA post Bird-Magic, the world was able to see Jordan's supernatural competitive nature and skill level. There was nothing he could not do. Through the midst of hand checks, hard fouls and better competition; he's better than any other player. Period. Then there's the list of HOF players whose championship hopes he's killed with each dagger jumper. One of them is being inducted with him in Springfield. In addition to Stockton and Malone, there's Barkley, Payton and Kemp, Reggie, Patrick (Ch)Ewing—all succumbed to the magnitude of Jordan's awesome. He truly created a legacy and is a living legend.

The Curse
This is that curse I had alluded to in the previous Yin/Yang post involving Jordan. Because he is the Perfect Hooper, he gave young aspiring ballers that they, too, can possess every tool available in the Basketball realm. The problem with that is: not everyone has room in his repertoire for everything; so they either try to do something that doesn't fit their personal style, or their game suffers as a whole. We all know of the many swingmen that received that scarlet letter of a label in "the next Jordan." Only Kobe has been able to overcome that without some hindrance to his career because of it. Jordan's shadow loomed so large over SG/SF blends everywhere that a lot of them were pressured by the mainstream to, "Be Like Mike." Ask Jerry Stackhouse.

Secondly, and more importantly, because of Jordan's marketing dynamic, he was the first megastar athlete post-Ali. I always said the generation after the Civil Rights one—my parents' generation—was softened by integration. As a result, they weren't looking for their celebrities/athletes to take political stands. That's why Ali is as revered as he is. He didn't just make up clever poems and master the sweet science; he did it during a time of racial prejudice and was actively involved in that struggle. MJ, bluntly put, allowed future pro athletes off the hook socially. This means the Lebrons, Kobes, Tigers, Jeters, etc. are able to sell merchandise without having to say anything meaningful. Now, this doesn't mean they have to walk around blasting "Fight The Power" to games. But thanks to His Airness, neutrality is safe and money is all that matters. Now, if an NBA player wants to take any sort of stand, he gets hushed by Commissioner Stern and his goons. That's why Chris Jackson Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf is out the league and Shareef Abdur-Rahim was able to stay. But the Association as a whole is watered down and less skilled anyway; so I guess the social side of it is reflective of that. "Republicans buy sneakers, too." Right, MJ?

Michael Jordan is an icon and should never be forgotten. The man is excellence personified and the result of what happens when a man's will is completely focused on success. Celebrate his originality for there will never be another like him.



Peace.

The Inaugural Hoops Movie Draft: Part II

Folks, the dead period between NBA Summer League and preseason is the worst of times for serious hoops heads. Yeah, a lot of the pros go back home or to their home team cities to play in various Pro-Am leagues, such as Mr. Durant and Agent Zero at the Goodman League in Barry Farm here in DC. While those are exciting, the mainstream Basketball realm is quiet. That's where Money Mike over at "Points Off Turnovers" comes in. He solicited my help, and together we young superpowers have combined to formulate the Hoops Movie Draft, sponsored by talented Black men with extraordinary writing ability. Part One is over at Mike's blog spot, which leaves me with the honor of lacing Part Two with that FU awesome. To get caught up with the rules and the first five picks, go read Part One now...


Right now...

Go on...

I'll wait...

...

...

Kwame still is not good...

I wonder what Michael Olowokandi's doing...

Ok, you're back? Good. After the random picture, Mike reveals the movie he selects at #6.

6. Mike selects…Sean Connery & That Black Guy in Finding Forrester.

Imagine walking down the street in your hometown and being asked to star in a motion picture. Well, that’s basically how mystery man Rob Brown got invited to audition for the lead role in “Forrester.” Like your typical broke collegiate graduate, Brown needed to pay the bills. He stumbled upon an opportunity to extra for a quick check and took the bait. The rest is history. The producers saw him, asked him to try out for the lead role…and an actor was born.
Though he was extremely raw, the movie’s premise was easy. He was, well, playing himself.
“Forrester” tracks the growth of a gifted black student (Jamal Wallace) who finds himself trapped in high school’s oppressive subculture, unable to showcase his unbelievable writing talent without ridicule. Jamal gains respect from his peers through his hoop game, not his immense brain. Eventually, Jamal catches the eye of a Manhattan prep school recruiter, who invites Jamal to the academy after seeing that his jumper is wet and his academics are exceptional.

However, Jamal wants desperately to be a great writer. After losing a bet, he stumbles into the life of William Forrester (Sean Connery), a recluse who surreptitiously reminds us of J.D. Salinger. Forrester teaches Jamal how to write, and Jamal teaches William how to live again.
Why do I like this movie? The strictly coincidental scenes they stole from my life’s script. The agreeable transition of Busta Rhymes from rapper to actor. The cameo appearance from Matt Damon. The hoop scenes not being zoomed all the way in like a Jerry Bruckheimer production. The tastefully done pickup game backdrop on the credits page. The reminder of why I chose to become a writer. And the importance of carpe diem and living life to the fullest.

You’re the man now, dawg.

(Aside here: this is the steal of the draft. For young, Black hoopers and writers, "Finding Forrester" wonderfully touched both areas. Low key, I was upset Mike picked this one. That was my Stephen Curry, lol. Now on to my pick.)

7. J-Till selects...Coach Carter

Fact: Samuel L. Jackson is the baddest motha(watch yo mouth) in the acting biz. From his brief cameo as the McDowell's robber in "Coming to America" to Jules in "Pulp Fiction," he is a master motivator. This is mainly because he is so freaking loud for no apparent reason. And don't let his eyes bug out--you know he means what he says when that happens The lead role of Ken Carter is perfect for him. He's witty, sarcastic, and bald. As with all of these movies, you know the story. Carter comes back to his old high school in hopes of making a difference in the place where he was raised. There, he meets a band of half-degenerates that completely lack discipline. Through suicides, pushups and female-named plays, Richmond (CA) becomes a force on the court.
Of course, success on the court is counterbalanced by various troubles off it. The streets, teen pregnancy, and even the community's lack of priorities are all issues Carter and his players must overcome. And, through the power of the Samuel L. Jackson monologue, they do. Let's just be glad no one said "what" to him.

8. Mike selects…Space Jam.

This movie’s not about Michael Jordan. Sure, we can spend these next few paragraphs talking about His Airness, but aren’t you sick of talking about this guy? Six rings, five MVPs, 14 ASG, 10 First Team’s…blah, blah, blah. We know he’s the best to ever play the hardwood game, the best ever to palm the roundball. But this movie’s more about the people that made M.J. look good than about Jordan himself. For the first time in his career, fans saw a flawed Michael Jordan, a man more Boris Kodjoe than Denzel Washington on the big screen...and embraced him all the more.

Space Jam was a blockbuster because of these true heroes of the film strip. The producers had success because they honored the unwritten rule of Hollywood: When the lead can’t carry the movie, make sure your supporting characters hide the flaws. We witnessed Wayne Knight during his ethereal stretch run, Bill Murray before his career dive tailed, Danny DeVito when we still though he was the successor to the Al Pacino/Robert DeNiro throne, and the pairing of Bugs Bunny with newcomer Lola Bunny to break up the, er, sausage fest. Plus, when you’ve got a relative unknown carrying the vocals along with Monica…you’ve really got hakuna matada. Plus, we got to see Eric Gordon in a small role before he became a hoop sensation.

Wait, what?

9. J-Till selects...Glory Road

Long before Glory Road was ever thought of, I felt if there was anyone who could capture the bigotry of Adolph Rupp, it was Jon Voight. I don't feel he's a racist or anything like that. I just felt he had the face for what lies beneath Coach K. Apologies for the digression, but not for the statement. "Glory Road" is the cinematic version of the 1966 Texas Western , led by Coach Don Haskins. The team triumphs over racism, and defeats Rupp and his big, bad Kentucky Wildcats.

Because of the way the story is told nowadays, few people tend to overlook the fact that there were White players on that team. It was a major sacrifice on their part to humbly sit out of that game—the Championship Game—as Haskins played an all-Black, seven-man rotation. If you ignore the fact that these three guys were chosen as players, it's actually a pretty decent depiction of the story. Texas Western is now known as UTEP...shout-out to Tim Hardaway.

10. Mike selects…Whoopi Goldberg in Eddie.

I really think my Knick fandom, love of hoops (did you know that thing had 49 NBA players?), and narcoleptic tendencies got in the way on this pick. I can’t even remember why I made this pick. I’ve never found Whoopi funny or attractive (her face reminds me of Predator), or thought Dennis Farina as anything more than a glorified typecast. The movie was completely absent of gratuitous hot chicks (like Theresa Randle in Beverly Hills Cop 3) and timely one-liners. Why would I waste my time with a crappy G movie when there are still levels of Mega Man left to beat?

I wouldn’t. And neither would you. I’d like to believe I drafted this movie to honor the late great Malik Sealy…but I don’t think he’d want to be remembered as the ball hog who got owned by GP. I’d like to believe I picked this movie to see Rick Fox act, but I already knew that hoop stars that sneak to the big screen for a big payday end up looking worse than Keanu Reeves in everything non-Matrix. I’d like to believe that I picked this movie to laugh my way through the aftermath of the Isiah Era…but it only served as a brutal reminder of his incompetence.
I guess Eddie’ll just be the Luc Longley of my superstar squad. And with “Jump”, “Blue Chips”, “Forrester”, and “Jam” already on tap, my championship team is definitely on lock. Don’t look at me like that. This economy’s no joke, dawg.

So, this concludes the two-part Hoops Movie Draft. Before I say "Peace," I'll share a couple of observations I made while reviewing our picks. First, we picked according to our personalities. Over Twitter, I coined the saying that Money Mike is, "the Martin to my sportswriting Malcolm." This means we have the same goals and mind frame, but execute it differently. Plainly put, Mike's nicer than me. (I won't put what I want to say because I don't curse in my writing.) Even though each movie we picked has some sort of unintentional comedy, all of Mike's movies were more lighthearted than mine. Again, that speaks to our personalities. Mike's on a more "non-violent, non-violent" piece; while I get my point across "by any means necessary." However you put it, we're a dynamic duo and will crush you in any sports debate.

The second observation is that I don't think David Stern would be too pleased with our selections considering that there aren't any movies of the, *ahem*, "lighter" persuasion. Oh well, we're Black. "Hoosiers" gets no love over here. Hopefully, we took you back and allowed you to reminisce over quality basketball cinema while you wait another 50 days for the NBA regular season to begin.



Peace.

One For My Pickup Game Heads

I gotta talk to my people that actively get on the court for a minute. Okay, you're in a game (pickup or organized) and you score. It could have been a nice one-dribble pull-up from 17 or a catch-and-shoot 3 from the corner. Then, you score again. Now, you've hit two in a row and the confidence begins to swell. So your team has possession again and you just know you're getting the rock for a heat check. You've just dropped consecutive buckets and everyone noticed. Here's where things go bad. You're expecting the pass—hands ready, feet square, shooting shoulder locked—and your teammate just hoists what could possibly be the worst shot since Dr. Naismith first put up peach baskets. You watch in confusion as the ball forcefully clangs off the rim, and you're left wondering, "What if," as you scramble (if you scramble) back on transition defense. If you can testify to this, then you were got by a player I like to call, "Run-Stoppers."

*Obama voice* Now, let's be clear. If Player A hits two in a row and his teammate hits an open three or cuts for a nice layup, Player A is not the victim of a run-stopper. Run-stoppers, as part of their fundamental truth, will always take a terrible shot. Said terrible shot will lead to a long rebound, which leads to a score for the opposition. I've been the victim of this plenty of times, and there is no way to avoid them. Also, do not confuse the run-stopper with the "jock," "heist-box," "black hole," or whatever your area's term is for someone that shoots too much. Run-stoppers do not necessarily have to want to shoot all the time. However, they see your consecutive scores as a green light for them to get their shine on. And I must stress that the shot they take while you're waiting for the extra pass is always terrible; and usually after a move that isn't in their repertoire. It's usually after mindless dribble to nowhere and an under-direst hoist towards the basket. The funny part is that everyone observant knows it's a bad shot, and the gym goes silent for about 48 seconds as everyone but the run-stopper has the, "What the hell?" thought bubble pop into their minds. And get this, the run-stopper will not—I repeat, not—say, "My bad," or pat his chest as any form of repentance. He will just jog back down the court behind the play like it's all good. It's borderline disrespect. It's as if he says, "Well, your buckets are okay, but they're inferior to my horrendously awful shot selection." In fact, run-stoppers are habitual line-steppers; continuously crossing the understood boundary of feeding the hot hand for their own selfish wishes. The run-stoppers aren't just found at your local "Y" or shaded blacktop. They have infiltrated the professional ranks. They do not include any of the superstars because superstars, by definition, can shoot whenever they want. After the random picture, I will name a few so you will be on the lookout for them this upcoming season.

Linas Kleiza. I've seen Kleiza play since he went to high school here in the DC area (shout-out to my boy Andrew who dunked on him); and since he was a D-1 talent, he had the proverbial green light. Well, must feel he's still at Montrose Christian because as soon as he's in the game, it becomes all about him. Everyone knows that JR Smith is the flame off the bench. Everyone, except Kleiza, that is. JR could be on the verge of one of his patented scoring streaks, and Linas will gladly hoist up a contested triple. Granted, he can shoot, but he is not good enough to take liberties like that. I don't care if George Karl is the coach or not.

Zach Randolph. Zeebo is really talented. He has impeccable post footwork and is really great at playing angles. But don't let anyone else like, say, Nate Robinson start to catch some fire. Z will gladly take the ball at 15 feet, and proceed to ignore his teammates for however long it takes him to shoot. Maybe that's why he's on his fourth team despite being a proven 20-10 guy. Or maybe it's stuff like this. Eh, take your pick.

DeShawn Stevenson. Picking on DeShawn is easy. He was on the embarrassing end of Lebron's Crabhammer, and has been associated with Soulja Boy. That isn't exactly a winning combination. Combine that with this false bravado that he can actually score, and he is the main reason the Wizards aren't that good (yeah, I said it). Stevenson frequently takes long-range shots like he's a marksman from distance. They always seem to come right when Caron or Antawn are about to get going. Even Nick Young's touches are worth more than Stevenson's. Hopefully, Flip sees the light and buries him next to Mike James (another run-stopper) on the bench.

Sasha Vujacic. First off, no one can have a self-given nickname. That's wack and proves you're not worth much on the court. Second, if you're "The Machine," shouldn't you be more than just a backup shooter that only plays when he shoots well? Shouldn't you be shooting well if you're a machine? Does that mean you're malfunctioning? Anyway, Vujacic will kill any Laker 8-0 run with his quick trigger. Part of it is that's all he can do with some sort of regularity; and part of it is that Lamar Odom—who usually runs the second team—is too unselfish to say anything. Take it back to NY on him...or at least get Ron-Ron to do it next year. I know he will.

That concludes my list of NBA run-stoppers. As usual, if you feel I'm wrong or have some players I've missed, leave it in the comments.



Peace.